I saw a quote or article recently that talked about how being around negative people can contribute to your own negativity. That can be true, especially in work situations where you must work with people who tend to be negative. If you are a generally optimistic or happy person, this can create an environment where you feel unbalanced, unsupported or grumpy. In fact, in his book, The No Asshole Rule, Robert Sutton, PhD., cites research that indicates assholes at work cause extreme behaviors like turnover, dishonesty, inaccurate reporting of events because of fear of retaliation, and higher evidence of employee stealing (to even the score). These results often come after the shame, guilt, shock, and paralysis that employees feel initially.
There are a multitude of bad behaviors at work ranging from physical abuse to the overt “I am socially in higher standing than you” attitude.
What do you do if work with negative people? Sutton offers the following options.
- Leave if you can. If your organization is tolerating these behaviors, then, it’s not going to change soon.
- Secure a good support network. Make sure you have a safe place to process and get feedback, preferably not at work.
- Change how you see things. Imagine that this is temporary and will not pervade the rest of your life.
- Hope for the best; expect the worst. While not the optimal strategy, it can get you through a tough time.
- Develop indifference and emotional detachment. If you feel trapped in your job, then take moments to detach and practice indifference. Does it really matter?
- Look for small wins. A little bit of feeling in control can change your perspective.
- Limit your exposure.
It’s tricky. If you’re feeling picked on or oppressed, it’s hard to know what battles to fight or when to detach. You get the theory though. If your organization allows permits or ignores these behaviors, then it’s time to start looking for an organization that does not. Excellent organizations don’t have room for jerks and assholes. They are easy to see because they are not the norm, and therefore, they do not last long.
If you’re looking for a job because you have to deal with an asshole, then try using some of Sutton’s techniques. Write me and tell me how it’s going.